Sunday, November 11, 2007

A Whodunit

What do this:



This:



and This:



have in common?

If you guessed this:



You win. You won't be getting anything most would think valuable. Just a cautionary tale about leaving 3 year olds alone with toilet paper, goldfish and rice.

If your 3 year old appears with a worried look on her little face and says: "Come quick. It spilled." Please, by all means, do as instructed. You are likely to find your paper-stuffed toilet overflowing. Do you have a plunger handy? No. You'll have to send the hubby next door to borrow one.

If you notice the family-size box of goldfish missing, by all means conduct a fish hunt until you find it. Odds are good that its contents will no longer be inside it. No, they are most likely to be spread or piled on the carpet. By the time you find them they will have been crunched and squished and ground into the floor. There seems to be a correlation between the length of time since you last vacuumed and when this activity takes place. The more recently you have vacuumed, the greater the quantity and scope of the mess.

Metallic sorts of tinkling sounds coming from your pantry. Please investigate promptly. You may discover a three year old sitting on the floor with the rice container. She will be making lovely artistic patterns on the floor. Note that rice is difficult to see on a light colored tile.

Three year olds who engage in these activities are always apologetic. They will pull out every weapon in the "cute" arsenal and use it against you. It may be a funny confession or a teary I'm sorry. Aunty I may just pay the shipping and handling and send her to you. She is evil, after all.

12 comments:

Aunty Evil said...

Don't be worrying about all that...

You have snacks made from goldfish?

Look at the packet, it clearly says...

No wonder the poor little darling is playing up, she needs to eat more meat and less fish.

tracey petersen said...

Pop a bell around her neck, then you'll always know where she is.

crafty said...

Very funny!

Umm, are those goldfish a snack? I have never seen them before.

Sue xx said...

Great idea Tracey :) It could have been worse it could have been the goldfish and rice and toilet paper all shoved down the toilet. I want to know what kind of child you were like? Does she take after you!!!!!!!

Stomper Girl said...

I hate vacuuming when I've just vacuumed.

Fairlie said...

I agree with Sue...it could have been (mariginally) worse. I was expecting the goldfish (seriously what kind of a snack are goldfish??) to have been liberated in the toilet bowl, followed by some rice as fish food and an entire roll of paper to hide the evidence. And I can only imagine what goldfish and rice would do to the plumbing.

But I'm with you on the vacuuming...nothing ever gets split here unless the place has JUST been vacuumed.

kirsty said...

"Come quick. It spilled." HA HA HA!!! My mother always says no sound is scarier than a two yr old saying UhOh.

Melinda said...

Good idea Tracey.

Goldfish are probably the number one selling snack food for the 5 and under crowd here in the U.S. They are a cheesy baked cracker (obviously shaped like a fish) that packs well in plastic bags or containers for day trips and usually please all children.

Sue, Rob and I both were children who did not color outside the lines! That's why we find Abby such a surprise.

Rob said...

There is something oddly unsettling about seeing your toilet on the internet...

bluemountainsmary said...

Dear HA

I thought that you had had one of those unfortunate toilet events from a little someone eating too many goldfish and ..er ..raw rice.

What happened instead seems tame by comparison. Although irritating for sure.

Aunty Evil said...

Rob,

At least she showed enough grace to close the lid before she photographed it.

No doubt that lid hides a multitude of sins...

Melinda said...

Aunty, every good southerner knows it's rude to leave the lid up on the toilet. For the record, my toilets are ALWAYS immaculate. I have a phobia about germy toilets. Perhaps I should offer tips to those in charge of cleaning public toilets?

FEEDJIT Live Traffic Map

count