Wednesday, November 14, 2007

A Few of My Least Favorite Things

1. Sick Children. Sick children on Medicine. Sick children in my bed. Sick children whining for more juice and some crackers.

2. People who don't say excuse me when they burp. I was waiting on a sandwich order for a working lunch meeting today and a man in the restaurant let out the biggest burp.... and acted like nothing had happened! Disgusting. I shot him a very evil eye.

3. Laundry. Do the clothes multiply in the dirty clothes basket? And why do the socks disappear? And why is the laundry basket never, ever empty?

4. Jeans. Trying to squeeze my er, curvaceous (I'm trying to be kind to me) butt into mine. Because I refuse to buy a bigger size. Hey, I'm just bloated.

5. Toy ads. Notice how the capitalist geniuses that run toy companies are blitzing us with advertisements for toys our children simply must have this year with 41 shopping days left (as the little, prominently displayed sign at our mega-store reminded me). I've seriously thought of filling my childrens' stockings with cans and sticks. They seem to play with them much more than any of their store-bought toys.

6. PMS. I hate it when men blame things on a wife/significant other's PMS. But I have serious PMS issues. I descend into a black pit of grumpy, irrational, chocolate-eating, sadness that makes me seem like I have multiple personalities. Last year, J.T.'s low reading score had me sobbing when it came on "hormone day". The year before we got a "needs improvement" message about his handwriting on hormone day. I cried all the way to work. If someone dares to cross me on hormone day, things are going to get real ugly, real fast. I have no patience and no empathy on hormone day. Rob's morning email for me today began this way: "Good Morning Grumpybutt." It could not be more appropriate.

10 comments:

Rob said...

I completely agree and am in complete support of your decisions.....whatever they may be in that moment.

Tracey Petersen said...

41 days huh? Bugger...

I bet every lady gave the evil eye to burping pig man and I bet his mother would have clipped him across the ear had she heard it.

Stomper Girl said...

You should check your neighbour's house for socks. Last week Crafty got a pair of white socks with purple trim and some bonus white maryjane SHOES while yesterday 4 of the Climber's socks came back over the fence to us.

Hormone Day is such a great name for it. And no-one *cough*Rob*cough* should EVER call you Grumpybutt on that day.

crafty said...

One would think Rob is a very smart man if one had only read the comments....however, Grumpybutt??

caramaena said...

Love the label :)

41 shopping days left???? OMG no way! Gah... I'd better start thinking about doing something soon then...

Fairlie said...

41 days?!? OMG...now I'm completely hyperventilating.

And don't get me started on the socks. I'm up to 17 unmatched socks in the bottom of the ironing basket at last count.

M said...

So with you on the sick children. I have NO bedside manner.

KelpieBlossom is suffering from agonising abdominal pain at the moment. Possibly has either colic or UT infection, or both and really can't rustle up much beside manner I'm afraid. I feel sorry for her but jeepers I wish it was over.

bluemountainsmary said...

You know how good I am with sick children.

Particularly vomiting sick children.

I have a theory re PMS. For a while you are protected by post baby hormones. This can last for up to three years. When the hormones wear off somehow you are transformed into raging, screaming, head swivelling, expletive screaming, plate throwing (I did that one last month) Grumpybutt from hell. Every month.

I imagine you are Snow White with butterflies floating and bluebirds singing compared to moi.

Melinda said...

I think Rob is concerned that you guys may not realize that "Grumpybutt" is a term of endearment. Believe me, he could call me much, much worse on Hormone Day and be more accurate. It actually makes me laugh when he says it so cheerfully. He has been known to drive to the nearest market in search of diet coke and chocolate on Hormone Day.

Malka said...

Good for people to know.

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