Monday, July 2, 2007

This Family of Mine

NO ONE can embarrass you like a family member. Particularly one's own mother.... and in my case, my own mother AND my mother-in-law.

About a month before Rob and I got married, my mother wanted to share with me an exciting new purchase. She pulls out a shopping bag, reaches in and comes out with silk lingerie. I, of course, assumed it was for my honeymoon. I was mildly embarrassed and thanked her. I was so, so horribly wrong in my assumption. She looked puzzled and said: "This is for me when your father and I go on vacation in July." While I enjoy a close mother/daughter relationship with my Mom.... some things a child should never, ever know about her parents. Never. Brain squeegee needed at just the memory of this horrible moment.

And my dear mother-in-law, to whom I am also very close, has handed me a few embarrassing moments as well. Also just before our wedding, she and I went shopping for a few last minute items. We ended up at Wal-mart, where she leads me down the feminine produce/prophylactics/lubricants aisle. I am mortified to think I might be about to discover information about my in-laws that I really don't need or want to know. Information that I can torture Rob with for years, since he is convinced that his parents do not engage in this type of activity. She picks up a tube of astroglide (#1 doctor-recommended natural lubricant) and puts it in the shopping cart. Turns out the astroglide is not for the in-laws, but for my honeymoon. Does it get any better than your mother-in-law purchasing personal lubricant for you? She also gives me recommendations about feminine hygiene.

Should I be grateful that both my mother and mother-in-law feel that they can truly talk to me about anything? Or should I be afraid, very afraid, of conversations (and shopping trips) to come?!


Melinda said...

Just for the record, I am adopted. Therefore it is entirely probable that my parents have never engaged in "that". However the astroglide did work pretty well, though it doesn't hold a candle to the Original Wet lubricant.....does it Melinda (wink,wink,nudge,nudge). ;-)

Love Ya,

rachael said...

that is funny!!!
Good to hear you get along well with your mother in law! he,he

kirsty said...

HA HA HA HA HA HA!!!!!! That is SO hilarious!! I would have DIED if my MIL had bought me lube. A million deaths. Not to mention the assumption that you need it!!!!
The lingerie thing I can handle.
"Brain squeegee" heh heh!!

Isabelle said...

You should definitely never go shopping with either lady again. Unless possibly to a bakery or a material shop.

precious pink pumps said...

no, no, i win.... my Mother in law got me to buy some lubricant FOR HER. SHe asked me back in teh day when my hubby and i were 'courting' and i was at, i was well aware of what it was for and had this puzzled look on my face when she asked me. I was thinking of all the OTHER possible reasons of why she'd need it...let me tell you, i got very creative....perhaps it was to oil a squeaky door hinge? And , seeing my face, she explained, "When you go through change of life, you need a bit of help". NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO

Angel said...

So funny!! I have been there with you for many embarrassing moments. Remember the trip to the movies with your Mother(The truth about cats and dogs). I thought we were going to die of embarrassment.

Melinda said...

Dear Angel. I am saving up all sorts of embarrassing moments we have shared for a future posts! I think of them at odd times and they make me laugh. Remember: You know that girl, she's your sister (with the bug eyes)? I am sure we will have many more embarrassing moments to share together in the future!

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