Saturday, July 14, 2007

MORE Treasures from the Family Vault: Grandma!

Yes... it's more love for Grandma! My dear sweet Grandmother Hall puts the D in Diva and the EMBARRASSING in embarrassing. She is the only girl in a family of 5 kids.... and was spoiled absolutely rotten! She is a natural blonde and has a one-track mind. She used to make the most incredible chocolate chip cookies and always kept her house as neat as a pin. But, my GOD, can she drive you crazy!

As part of our family tradition, Grandmother Hall always took us shopping for our Easter outfits each year. Sometimes, all of us at once, sometimes individually. When my brother was in middle school, she took he and I together.

For some strange reason, while picking out a tie for him, she decides he needs new underwear. Being male, he of course, has no clue what size underwear he needs. So, inventive lady that she is, my Grandmother spots a college-age clerk, calls him over and says: "Young man, you look like you are about the same size as my grandson. What size underwear do you wear?" I can still see my poor brother's red/purple frozen face.

She complains about how "there is just nothing good on the news. You don't even want to watch it." I called a few weeks ago at 6:30 p.m. only to be told: "Call me later. The news is on." She won't get on the scale at the doctor's office because "they don't need to know how much I weigh." To my mother's mortification, she has taken to going places wearing no bra. And for some strange reason has decided that she can keep the dust at bay by placing paper towels over everything, including the air conditioner. She is jealous of the elderly neighbors my Aunt keeps an eye and truly believes she should be the center of attention at ALL times. (I think my Abby received this gene).

She thinks the space program is a total waste of money. My poor father tried to explain to her one time that we had gained a lot of technology from the space program: microwaves, te-flon, satellites, Tang..... and she rolls her eyes and says: "David, they don't make those things in space!" Oi! After a few moments, my dad gives up and says: "You're right."

We love her. She does obviously provide us with a lot of laughs when she isn't driving us crazy! Doesn't every family have at least one crazy grandma/grandpa/uncle/aunt? How about you?


Angel said...

I remember when we had your Mom And Dad's house all to ourselves and Grandma Hall decided it was a good time to clean the yard. There was some refreshments in the fridge! That was a funny day.

tracey petersen said...

I plan on being the crazy aunt, grandma etc. I'm stocking up on paper towels now.

leendaluu said...

I can't WAIT to be the DIVA grandma...believe me, I'm training for the role already!

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