My Very Own Embarrassing Moment

Yes. This one belongs to me, all me. No help from flashing relatives, lubricant-purchasing mother-in-laws or lingerie-buying mothers.

I was a sophomore at GSU and had an early morning aerobics class followed immediately by an introduction to Sociology course. The Sociology class was held in the University theater... the only place large enough to hold the 200 plus students taking the course.

On this particular day, I arrived a little bit earlier than the most and took a seat near the front, finding a seat near the middle of the row (I absolutely hate it when people get to a theater early, sit on the outside of the row and make everyone crawl over them getting in and out). Air conditioning and sinuses that have just experienced 45 minutes of aerobics in an un-airconditioned gym are a bad combination.

Just as class was starting I develop a very sudden runny nose. I realize that there is no way I can crawl over 15 people who have books, notebooks and pens out, run back up the aisle and hit the bathroom in time. I grab my pocketbook praying for tissues, napkins, receipts, anything remotely absorbent. Of course, I have nothing in my pocketbook, except a maxi-pad.

I sit there in the center of the row at the front of the theater in the midst of 200 other students weighing my options. At this point I have 5 seconds to decide: Am I going to wipe my nose with a maxi-pad or do the first grade sleeve swipe. Since I am wearing short sleeves and the thought of wearing a nose-soiled shirt for another hour is really unappealing, I opt for the maxi. Now, 2.5 seconds to decide if I do my very best contortionist act and try to fit my face inside my purse, or if I have to pull the maxi out of the purse to accomplish the desperately needed nose wipe. Alas, my head is too big for the purse and out comes the maxi just in time. My face is a shade of red reserved only for embarrassing moments as I re-wrap the maxi and try to unobtrusively poke it back in my purse. Unobtrusive and public use of a maxi pad will, however, not go unnoticed. And I can feel the eyes of ever person on my row and the row behind staring at the maxi-weilding, sweaty girl in the center. You know, the red one.