Monday, September 17, 2007

Why? -- A Whine

Why is it that bad things come in groups? Find out your dental plan sucks, make a stupid mistake at work, and then get a headache...

Why is it that when Abby is very, very quiet she isn't doing anything good? Instead she is fingerpainting with babysoap on her brother's window. Or ripping paper out of a notepad. Or climbing on chairs to reach things she shouldn't have.

Why can't we find a single pair of matching shoes when we are running late?

Why do people only show up at your house unnannounced when things are in ultimate dishevelment? Yet they never come over when things are all neatly in place (okay that's only like a ten minute window, but still).

Why do I not realize I'm out of flour until I already have the eggs and butter mixed together for cookies?

Why do the phone and the doorbell ring at the same time at the office? Even when neither has sounded off in hours?

Why are all the traffic lights red when you are running behind?

Why do the children wait until I am settled down with a favorite tv show or book to start an argument?

Why does Slimfast not work if you use it to wash down a candybar?

Why can't I have my cake and eat it too? Or better yet have it with ice cream and chocolate sprinkles?

Why does one lose one's corkscrew the day one most needs it? (Don't worry, haven't misplaced the new $9 corkscrew yet.... this why is a few weeks old).

Why does our neighbor's mailbox look like a phallic symbol to me? Especially when they put fresh fall mums (lovely rounded things) in place on either side of the tall middle part with the roof on it.

Why will I have to photograph that to show it to you?

Just Because.....


bluemountainsmary said...

Do you know Melinda I am going to have to call you the Honourary Australian. Or HA ! For short. Because your sense of humour is so similar to ours. (We all grew up believing that our sense of humour was more British - and that the Americans humour was more screwball and somehow more obvious! Although I think those days changed when our TV bosses started importing more and more American sitcoms).
You know you have to post that photo.
Anyway HA I wanted to let you know that I am thinking of you and your mum.

tracey petersen said...

OK, I see your whine and raise it!

Why is it that when I finally get home and sit down my children remember that they need to go
Why is it that the milk runs out on the days we get out of bed late?
Why is it that my body clock wants to sleep midnight til 8am and the world doesn't agree with me?
Why is it that no matter how many times I wash, fold and iron there are still dirty clothes somewhere, just mocking me?

This could start a whole new branch of philosophical studies.

crafty said...

And why does everything break all at once?
The DVD player, the CD rom, the kettle, the camera, the head gasket(car)?

crafty said...

Oh, yeah, and the keyboard.

Melinda said...

Thank you Mary! You know I love that Eddie Izzard... he may have influenced my sense of humor. And Rob loved John Cleese in Fawlty Towers and the whole cast of Monty Python.

Tracey, Rob would also agree with you on the internal clock thing.... only his would be more like 2 a.m. until 10 a.m.

Crafty, in our case it's the tooth (that our insurance paid NOTHING on, leaving us with a $900 bill)!

caramaena said...

Jeez - $900? Ouch. Why indeed...

I'm dying to see that mailbox now too.

Fairlie said...

Why do teeth not last as long as the head they're in?


Aunty Evil said...

And why is my life so perfect?

Why do I have a spotless house, my washing and ironing complete and put away, my dinner bubbling on the stovetop and I still get time to watch Judge Judy?

And why do I have such an overactive imagination?

precious pink pumps said...

Show me the post box! (Said to the tune of "show me the money") .... can you photograph it without your neighbours seeing you?

Stomper Girl said...

The number of times I am halfway through cooking something and realise I don't have a vital ingredient is beyond belief. I think it proves I'm an optimist. I just *hope* that it's all there.

The shoe thing is something to do with voodoo or black magic, that is ALWAYS happening at our place.

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