Wednesday, June 6, 2007

Cosmetic Surgery

I had a phone call from an acquaintence recently. A few minutes into the conversation I inserted the "and how is everything at work?" line. The answer was that she was going back to work soon. "Oh, you're on vacation." I respond. "No, I had surgery," she says. "Really. Is everything okay? What kind of surgery?" I ask. "Cosmetic surgery." And I say, (because I am nosy), "What did you have done?" Her response: "A tummy tuck. After three babies and finger size stretch markers, I decided it was time. I'm not having anymore babies, so...."

ACK! That is cheating. You are making the rest of us look bad! You'll be out in public with your three kids and everyone will be amazed at your trim figure and wonder why the rest of us with stretched out abdominal muscles and a horrid fear of dressing room mirrors and anything that bares skin in the region between mid-thigh and neck, don't look that good! I'm going for great hair and make up to distract anyone from glancing anywhere below my neck or above my feet. Stretch marks are supposed to be our "Badge of Honor": the well-worth-it-price of having beautiful kids!! The bikini days are over people! We have entered the bathing-suit-with-skirt/boardshorts and tankini top years like our mothers before us! You can't cheat!! I think you have to wear a t-shirt that says: "My body has been surgically altered to look this good at thirty-something".

Can you tell I'm jealous? I started to ask her how much it cost. But if I get a tummy tuck, Rob's going to want that outrageously expensive flat-panel tv.... Good thing a tummy tuck is against my principles, ... isn't it?

The two gifts I got in exchange for my "badges of honor" are pictured above. Don't be fooled by their angelic expressions.... they are little terrors! And I love them very much!!


Sussanah said...

Have you ever seen one of those make over shows where they vacuum out the fat, it is revolting and scary. It looks like it hurts ALOT!!

Rachael said...

looks like butter wouldn't melt in their mouths ;-)

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