Thursday, April 17, 2008

I Swore I'd Never....

say to my children the things my mother said to me! That commitment lasted until I had children. I have, in fact, said the following:

1. I don't care who started it! I'm going to finish it.

2. You are working my last nerve. My LAST NERVE! (this is usually accompanied by a somewhat wild-eyed, hair-standing-on-end, mental ward escapee look)

3. If you don't go to room right now, I will not be responsible for my actions.

4. I. said. NOW!

5. Don't start with me.

6. You'll understand one day.

7. Don't slam the door.

8. Would you shut the door? We can't afford to air condition all of Georgia!

9. Do I have to do everything around here?

And something vaguely unintelligible uttered through clenched teeth and pursed lips. I also make that sound that every child ages 6 months to 4 years old understands means "No", "Stop it" or "Don't do it". It sounds something like AAANNNCCCKKK! And it is said very loud, very quickly and makes the offender jump a minimum of 1 foot off the ground.

16 comments:

M said...

If I've told you once, I've told you a thousand times...

When I was your age...

Love all those mummy sayings. Use them ALL the time. My latest favourite:

"If you do (insert horrid action here) I'll sell you on eBay."

Precious Pink Pumps said...

I hear myself saying all the time lately, "because I am the grown up that's why".....seriously, I don't know if i believe myself. Who are these children and more importantly, who is woman staring back in the mirror at me every day with wrinkles and dark eyes????

Guhn said...
This comment has been removed by a blog administrator.
Fairlie said...

I find myself saying: "Well, you know what Thought thought..." when the kids say things like, "I thought I put it away," or "I thought you were finished with it".

And I always get blank expressions in reply.

The rest of the saying, which my mum used to say to me is:

"...he thought his feet were hanging out of the bed, so he got up to check."

What the?

Fairlie said...

Oh - and...

"Were you born in a tent?"

Stomper Girl said...

I do a very loud "ah-ah-ah" when my kids are about to do something bad or dangerous, just like my mother.

I love saying "don't make me come out there" but I'm not actually sure if that was one of Mum's.

Melinda said...

I hope you know I'm blatantly plagarizing all of these for my own collection!

alice said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
alice said...

Regarding 'THAT' look - I think I look like that most of the time.

Had to laugh at m selling her child (or spouse!) on ebay.

fairlie - from my grandad : If you don't stop (insert fun but vorboten deed here) I'll send a man with no head and yellow teeth will after you. Whatthe... ?

My mum's best and always remembered, was "Look at the food left on your plate! There's enough food there to feed the starving children of Biafra!" I always wanted to tell her to send it to them, but never dared. Is Biafra even a real place?

peppermintpatcher said...

I say "this will be the last time that I ask you...". Never had to follow through, so I'm not sure what happens after the last time, but the tone of voice and the 'don't take me on' look is enough that no one wants to know what comes next!

Sussanah said...

My absolute favourite stolen not from my mother but my sister Tracey is the perfect response to the perpetual

'I want, I want, I want'

and it is

'Well! I want a well behaved child but it looks like nobody is getting what they want today.'

that my friends is mother GOLD!

Sussanah said...

A motherism all of my own that I will no doubt infect my children is the response, 'Spite.'

When my kids say stuff like, 'Vegies, why are we having vegies for dinner.'

I say, 'Spite. There's just nothing more I like than to work a full day, come home cook dinner and listen to you whinge. I love it, so I do it out of spite. I live to make you miserable.'

Team SAK said...

Absolute gold! All these must be truly international as I have had them said to me and , I confess, used them on ocassion!. Another one regarding waste : "Money doesn't grow on trees!" To which my 8 yo Kingsley replied then why do banks have branches!!!

caramaena said...

'Because I said so!' is me turning into my mum...

Going to have to use Sussanah's though - I love that line.

kristen said...

What a laugh. That is so true of all of us mothers. I think we turn into our own mother.

Danielle said...

I'm guilty as well. Sometimes I want to slap my own forehead when I hear those utterances tumble out of my mouth.

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