It's Rob again, Melinda hasn't changed her password so I'm back. Something happened to me about an hour ago that was just so....different.... that I had to either keep it a secret or just tell the whole world.... or at least Australia.
My job provides me with uniforms, not cool uniforms like astronauts and city sanitation workers get to wear, just a plain blue shirt and khaki pants, no emblems or name tags. Melinda likes this because she doesn't have to wash them or iron them and she doesn't have to worry about me leaving the house completely in one color because I dressed myself. Anyway just this week the uniform company replaced my old uniforms that I'd been wearing for the past 3 years with brand spanking new.......plain blue shirts and khaki pants. So the shirt I put on this morning was brand new, never been worn. I make it through the work day with no problems, shirts a little itchy and could fit a little better but all in all I'm looking pretty spiffy. I get home, Melinda and the kids are outside playing with the water hose so I go in to change clothes. I remove all my accessories (watch, wallet, jump drive, change, etc.) then I take off my shirt. It's then that I look in the mirror and.....something's......different. What could it be?.....I know there's a little white sticker with the numbers 62200086 on it about 1/2 inch wide and 1/4 inch tall completely covering my left nipple. I attempt to flick it off....it doesn't move. I attempt to pull it off and I extend my nipple to the point where I finally lose my nerve and back off. Apparently the adhesive used barely sticks to cotton but chemically bonds with human skin. I contemplate ripping it off, but I just can't get the morning edition headline out of my mind..."Local Man Bleeds To Death After Ripping Off Nipple While Changing Clothes....Really!".....heck that would probably make the Australian news. So finally while holding my nipple down as best I can with one hand and pulling slowly and firmly with the other, and wondering if nipples can be reattached surgically, I'm able to remove the offending label from my person. A little redness and few less hairs and I'm none the worse for wear. So let this be a lesson to you, never............ah hell there is no lesson here.
8 months ago