To Forgive?

You have probably read this quote elsewhere this week. It was particularly timely for me. I have been struggling with the idea of forgiveness for some time. My head knows that healing and happiness, genuine heart-whole happiness, are impossible if you let bitterness and hurt flourish in your soul.

But it is so hard to let injustice be. To not be able to 'fix' and make right what is wrong. To not get the point across that it hurts so deeply when others cherish things more than people. More than love. So I am resharing what has already been shared (I hope the person I lifted it from doesn't mind.... I haven't been able to get it out of my head nor my heart since I read it).

"What if forgiveness has nothing to do with stopping feeling hurt and nothing to do with letting the person off? What if it's something that is under our own direct control and that we can wholeheartedly choose to do?

Suppose it's this: forgiveness does not mean pretending that the other person did not do wrong. It does not mean switching off your feelings. Rather, forgiveness means depriving the other person's wrongdoing of any consequences in your life.

I forgive by deciding that I will not pass on the hurt by harming others. I will not let the wrongdoing influence me to do wrong. I will not let it damage and distort my life nor alter my relations with others. I will go on doing right, no matter how hurt I feel, no matter what.

You don't decide who I will be, but I do. It makes the wrongdoing irrelevant..." Catherine Gower
It does indeed make the wrongdoing irrelevant.