Wednesday, January 9, 2008

Kindnesses

If ever there were a benefit to living in a small community, support is one of them. And a short commute. Unless you get behind a tractor or a cotton truck.

We have been absolutely overwhelmed with offers of meals, rides to appointments, cards filled with well wishes and small gifts for mother. I spent the day with her yesterday, first day post-chemo. And I did a lot of phone answering from people wanting to check in to see how Mama was. While she wasn't up for conversation, it really perked her up to receive so many messages of concern and care. I'm actually going to have to coordinate a meal schedule so that we don't end up with tons of food all at once! Which is a nice problem to have, isn't it?

For those of you wondering, she is doing really well so far. The expected nausea and weakness, but not too much actual getting sick. We played sudoku, word puzzles and read. We got out the scrapbooking packet she received for Christmas and oohed and ahhhhed over the tags, letters and pages inside. Which led to getting out boxes of pictures and going over ideas for designs (all simple, of course).

The first project she wants to start is doing scrapbooks for all 4 of John's children. She has saved baby photos, some really terrible school pictures, band and sport programs, diplomas, school work etc. We have decided that his daughters might actually like to help make their own scrapbooks and include special memories they have of their dad. I think they will enjoy that and it will be bittersweet for Mom.

One of the most heartbreaking things I have ever had to endure is watching my mother, in her pink pajamas and pink socks, looking a little weary, trace her finger gently over a baby picture of my brother, smiling in his hand-made little outfit. She was very quiet and then she said: "I miss him."

9 comments:

Frogdancer said...

This brought tears to my eyes.

Firstly because I have four boys, and I felt for her so much. Losing a child is the worst thing, no matter how old the child is.

Secondly, because it brought back memories of when my own Mum was battling breast cancer. (Happy ending here... I hope it's the same for you.)

Best wishes.

Aunty Evil said...

The last paragraph made me have a bit of a cry.

All the very best to your mum, she sounds like a good, strong woman, and I hope her battle with this demon is successful.

bluemountainsmary said...

Oh darling.

If I could give you a big hug I would.

Stomper Girl said...

What Mary said.

Cxxxxx

Fairlie said...

Okay. Tears in my eyes too.

Glad to hear your mom is doing well so far. Don't be afraid to organise offers of help for meals into a schedule so they are made to suit your mom. I've found people don't mind being bossed around when it comes to when and what they should do...they're just happy to help.

M said...

Hmm, well I never *admit* to tears so I will just say that I'm sending cyber hugs.

There are definitely advantages to living in a small community in times of hardship. Luckily your family is benefitting from those advantages. A very emotional time for you, best from all of us here in the EasternMax family.

Team SAK said...

Melinda- A wonderfully written blog which captured all that your mum ,family and you are enduring. You are so blessed to be surrounded by a caring community. While living in a vastly different sized community I have wonderful friends ( led and supervised by Fairlie) who generously kept my fridge and freezer stocked and worked hard to keep my spirits positive throughout treatment during 2007. Chemo can be pretty tough and I found that sometimes the nausea was worse than being physically ill. We are sending our very best wishes to your mum, your family and to you. Serious illness like cancer doesn't just affect the patient but the whole family. Your blog cyber friends/family are also part of your support network if you need us!

peppermintpatcher said...

Of course she misses him, especially now when others have rushed to help her, his absence is screaming to her. It sounds like you are bringing joy to her day by being there though.

Be kind to yourselves. Thinking of you...

twolimeleaves said...

(((((((((Melinda's Mum)))))))))

(and Melinda, too)

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