Boys with attention issues should never be taught to pee standing up.
Mothers with attention issues should never attempt a home mani/pedi when there is no fingernail polish remover in the house.
The bickering of young siblings is torture on a CIA-scale. Forget water-boarding. Let my kids fight over the guitar/dominoes/video game and the criminals will confess just to Make. It. STOP. It's like being pecked to death by a chicken.
Southerners don't like cold weather. We are thin-blooded.
Southerners don't like hot weather either.
Tracey was right. I do clean so the cleaning lady can come clean.
Michael Phelps just got dropped as an endorser by Kellogg's. I guess you could say he made a bong-headed mistake.
U-2's song The Sweetest Thing is underrated.
Common Sense is undervalued and scarce. $45 million for an executive jet while holding out your hand for government aid?
The U.S. tax code was written by a schizophrenic (spelled it wrong according tot he little red dots and way too lazy/sleepy to correct it) who was off his meds. Never mind. Rob fixed it. He says it may still be wrong.
If you clean it, they will dirty it rather quickly.
Sweet tea is sticky and hard to mop when it dries.
Hot cocoa with marshmallows is a lovely, lovely thing on a cold day. So is crab stew.
I think I have my contacts in the wrong eyes. Or my prescription is wrong.
If I were born before the age of corrective eye wear, I would have less than useless. Anything more six inches from my face is blurry.
8 months ago