Tuesday, July 14, 2009


7 a.m. - Glance at clock and determine that "just five more minutes" is perfect.
7:25 a.m. - Get up and fumble blindly to the bathroom to put in contacts.
7:26 a.m. - Start a load of laundry.
7:30 a.m. - Pop two pieces of whole grain in the toaster oven and unload the dishwasher while bread is toasting.
7:34 a.m. - Bread has skipped right past toasting and into burning. Get out two more pieces of bread and repeat.
7:40 a.m. - Low fat cheese, toast and a cold diet coke and the morning news.
7:50 a.m. - Begin making the pillow-wrinkled face presentable for the public. A light moisturizer, eye makeup (which I never do well... they never quite match... one eye has slightly more liner than the other or the shadow isn't evenly applied), creme blush and a dusting of powder.
8:00 a.m. - Let the hair battle begin. The hair is armed with humidity and natural curl. I am armed with anti-frizz gel and a flat iron.
8:15 a.m. - Still working on the stubborn cowlick in the front. Decide that cutting cowlick out is an impulse best not acted upon. It's really tempting though.
8:20 a.m. - Flip on the lights in the kids rooms so they can begin the: "Mooooommmm. It's not daytime yet..." complaints.
8:25 a.m. - Slip on skirt and hot pink shirt. Buckle wide black belt over shirt. Looks stupid. Take shirt off and pick our pink patterned empire waist blouse. Arms look too fat. Decide on the wrap-dress. But now my shoes don't match and the multicolored necklace doesn't match the pattern of the dress.
8:35 a.m. - Walk down the hall to the kids' rooms wearing one shoe (where the heck is the other one). "Rise and shine people! Hit the deck! Bathroom, brush teeth, get dressed... let's go!"
8:36 a.m. - Roaming around the house looking for other shoe. Not in the dining room, not under my bed, not in the laundry room.
8:37 a.m. - Kids still lumped under covers. Don't think they've moved since 8:20 a.m. complaint.
8:38 a.m. - Drag the boy out of bed by his feet (don't worry... no injuries) and push him towards the bathroom.
8:38:30 a.m. - Dress the girl WHILE she's sleeping (I'm very speedy at this... practice makes perfect), including shoes and socks. My missing shoe is discovered in her closet. Should've looked there first.
8:40 a.m. - Boy has made it the bathroom. But is just standing in nightshirt and underwear, staring at the mirror. "Teeth don't brush themselves son. Get cracking now. Please?" Boy picks up toothbrush.
8:41 a.m. - Began the hair battle with the girl. I am armed with the only hairbrush she will tolerate, two ponytail holders and a hairbow. She is armed with cranky and a whole lot of stubborn. I win. But only because I outweigh her by xx pounds. There is great wailing and gnashing of teeth (that bit is by me, the wailing is her) and I once again am thankful our neighbors don't live within earshot of our house.
8:43 a.m. - The boy has both the toothbrush and the toothpaste in hand. But one has not met the other and the breath is still stinky. Threaten to brush them myself and am rewarded with action.
8:45 a.m. - Tell the boy that the girl is ready. He manages to throw on shorts and shirt (backwards of course) and sandals in record time so he can beat her to the car.
8:48 a.m. - Everyone in the car and buckled. Yay! Backing out of garage. Make it all the way down the driveway and realize the boy's lunchbox is still on the kitchen counter. Pull back in and grab lunchbox. Repeat the reversal out of the garage and realize that I forgot the frozen yogurt for the lunchbox. Repeat trip back up the driveway, into the house and out again.
8:53 a.m. - Finally pull onto the road and realize I've forgotten my sunglasses. Crap. Glance at clock and debate another trip back up the driveway. Decide squinting is worth it.
8:53 a.m. - Kids begin argument over which song they want to hear. "Number 10! NO!! Number 4. NO! Number 10!" We comprised on number 7.
8:56 a.m. Pull onto Westside Road. Right behind a tractor. No passing zone for 3/4 of a mile. Lovely.
8:57 a.m. - Still behind tractor. Wishing I hadn't take that extra five minutes onto my snooze (okay I know it was 25 but work with me).
8:58 a.m. - Tractor turns off. Yay! Smooth sailing all the way to the raptor center. Green lights and all! I must have done something right.
9:05 a.m. - We are last arrival for Wild Life Camp. College age student with no kids and lots of knowledge casts me look of mild censure. Mumble apology.
9:10 a.m. - More green lights on the way to Abby's school. Lucky day! She insists on taking largish singing Frosty the Snowman in for show and tell. Teachers very impressed with my cleverness for selecting cold toy to 'beat the heat.' Smile and accept praise. Do they need to know that I argued against bringing that one? I think not.
9:15 a.m. - Everyone squared away. Looking forward to work! Nice, quiet work. Where there are grown-ups and there is no arguing over seating arrangements or music selections.

How was your morning?


Stomper Girl said...

My boy child puts things on backwards and inside out and goes into sleepy stand-stills if he is woken too early. That made me laugh.

Aunty Evil said...

The people where you work don't argue over seating arrangements and music selection...?


Actually, I am exhausted just reading all that. I am also disappointed in Abby. Losing an argument, even if it just over hair, isn't an option. Tell her. Go on. Tell her.

Anonymous said...

Pip is too big to pull by the leg now. So we just nag, nag, nag, nag, nag, nag then he moves.

Danielle said...

Oh, children you have to wake! So jealous Melinda.

The diet coke, always a necessary requirement to get going in the morning.


Rob said...

You have a smoothness and a wit to your writing that makes it a joy to read. You should really start working on your book again. I Love You!

Melinda said...

Flattery will get you everywhere Rob.

Anonymous said...

LOL have you been waching my mornings?

Precious Pink Pumps said...

I am exhausted reading this. yet I totally relate. I am a bit scared to share a morning of my own. I don't know if I could refrain from adding in my self talk (eg. FFS, can you just pack your lunchpacks in your bag? OR I don't care if you have poked your eye, just hurry up OR unless you are bleeding from the ears don't bother me right now. I am mid-mascara application).....that's why it's self talk.

Mary said...

Oh Melinda.

So glad that it is holidays here right now but in one week my mornings will begin to look just like yours and I don't even have to go to work!

M said...

How do you get the kids to sleep in that late?

I've been dreaming of having a housekeeper. You know, like Alice from The Brady Bunch.

That would just be heaven don't you think?

FEEDJIT Live Traffic Map