Sunday, August 16, 2009

Going Doooowwwwwnnnnn

So. This is the last blog post for public consumption. I have weighed the pros and cons and have decided to take the blog underground. All of my regular readers will, of course, be invited along. I had to let you know that, because Aunty Evil just yelled, "NOOOOOOOOOOOO!" and I heard it, all the way over here. A friend recently had to block some things on flickr after one of those creepy people I'd like to think don't exist, but unfortunately indeed do exist, bookmarked a picture of her child. I made the decision, perhaps without careful thought, to use our information and photos a bit freely in this space. I don't want it to be a decision that might cause harm to my wee ones.

My last not-so-important observations before the move follow.

We went to Wal-mart tonight (argh!) after the girl ate the last of her lunch box entree, despite the fact that I told her NOT to eat it. Or perhaps BECAUSE I told her not to eat it? Anyway, there was nothing for her lunch tomorrow, so we loaded up and made the trip. On move-in weekend for all the returning university students. Oh joy.

The forever wait in the checkout line turned a marathon sing-along of Queen's "We Will Rock You" including mangled line about "sit you on your face" instead of "you big disgrace". It also provided me with time to make a mental Fashion Do's and Don'ts list.

Bedroom shoes should not leave your house. Grab the sandals, the flip flops, crocs... anything but the bedroom shoes.

A nightgown is not appropriate shopping clothing. Talk about a total lack of effort!

Shorts that do not cover your lady lumps are essentially underwear and should not be worn as outerwear.

In that vein, a brightly colored bra under a see-through shirt is also inappropriate for public. Madonna tried that in the 90's and really, it didn't work then either.

Tank tops are gym wear. They should not be worn anyone over a certain age/weight limit. Not ever. Never.

There are more but I got distracted by a knock-knock joke and a secret handshake involving the pattycake song. See you on the other side!


Aunty Evil said...

Your ears mistake you.

You did not hear one, but TWO tortured yells.

The first one was, as you predicted, a reaction to the thought I would be losing my daily fix of my honourable daughter.

The other as a reaction to, thanks to you and your dos and don'ts of fashion, my realisation that it is time to go shopping for new clothes.

Yeah. Thanks for that.

Just giveth me the password and I will follow thee where'st thee goeth. (wiping spit off monitor, another thing I have you to thank for)

Michelly said...

I have to admit...I LOVE Wal-Mart for the people watching. It does turn my stomach most of the time but it's like a train wreck. My thought is always "Why????"

Stomper Girl said...

Please send me my invite. Have you thought of your incognito name and have you downloaded this blog so you don't lose your memories?

Stupid sickos.

Anonymous said...

And another one goes silent. Of course, I will come along for the ride, I can't imagine my day without a read of your blog.

Funny comments regarding your visuals whilst shopping. So very true - although living in a hot subtropical climate, I do wear tank tops most of the summer. Can I be excused due to the temperature?

crafty said...

Me too, I'm sorry I can't guarantee much visiting, but I'd still like to pop in and see what you are up to every now and again, and I seem to have a knack of checking in at just the right time!

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