Did You Know....

.... that one 4 year old girl can, in the space of 10 minutes,

* empty every drawer in her dresser looking for a swimsuit?
* partially eat, and scatter the remainder of, three bananas?
* spill contraband chocolate milk on her carpet?
* spill contraband chocolate pudding on her carpet... and track it around the room?
* empty out the domino container and leave at least one domino in every room in the house?
* get an unidentifiable sticky something in her hair?
* paint her toenails and adjacent digits with the nail polish you haven't been able to find in six weeks?
* make her mother long for a glass of wine and silence? Sweet silence.
* Say "I love you more" so sweetly that the previous ten minutes might not have happened?

Abigail the Atrocious

My two (almost) three year old is walking around our house right now with a paper bag over her head. She just peed all over the bathroom floor and then cheerfully announced that "pee pee goes in the potty." Right before that, she framed her brother for a crime he didn't commit and provoked him into an "I had it first" argument. Her father has her on video, wide-awake last night at 11:30 p.m. He asked her: Where are you supposed to be? She said: In bed! He said: Where are you? She said: I'm here!" He said "Why?" She said: "Cause!" Earlier incidents today include washing hands with WAYYYYYYY too much soap and not enough rinsing, pulling off half a roll of toilet paper and many, many, whining, screaming fits.... which explains why she is currently walking around sans shirt with a cup of diet coke and some seriously tangled hair. Because, really, she has more willpower and stubborn determination than her mother could possibly ever possess.

Her name means: Gift from God. Can anyone say irony?